MONDAY, DEC 31, 2001
Jen and I had a small gathering of eight people for New Year's Eve. I
have that Asian
drinking thing, so I was, once again, sober as a judge. It didn't
keep me from staying up until 5:30am, though.
Half of a glass of champagne left me hung over this morning. What am I twelve?
SUNDAY, DEC 30, 2001
I went skiing for the first time in twelve years at Nashoba
Valley. It gave me the opportunity to use the equipment I bought nearly
four years ago, but that had never touched snow.
In a stroke of bad luck, Jen hyper-extended her knee after a doing a barrel roll down one of the hills. It looks like she'll be OK, but she's not too happy with me. I'm banishing her back to the bunny hill for lessons and practice. She wants to be Pecabo Street in two hours.
***
Dear Mrs. Monkey,
Congratulations on your big day!!!
SATURDAY, DEC 29, 2001
The Evan Dando (ex-Lemonhead)
show was at the Paradise
tonight. I almost left before the closer. The second act was so incredibly
bad that it's beyond description. It turned out to be worth the wait,
though; even through AC/DC rip-offs. Oh, and despite rumors that he's
sober now, I can assure you that he is quite... not. I'm not sure if it
was heroin, but he sure was fucking lit. Even though, Dando played a great
mix of old and new, sticking to what he does best, singing-songwriting,
in the midst of a post-90s talent void that gave us the likes of Blink-Incubus-Bizkit.
FRIDAY, DEC 28, 2001
The Luna show was pretty good.
At least I thought so. The rest of my group was less than enthusiastic,
however. Funny, because I'm usually the critical one. Luna plays a very
understated style of music washed in sonic effects that's mininal without
being minimalist. If you like your music with "rock power" guitar
solos and verse-chorus-verse-bridge, you'll be disappointed. Oh, and their
new bass player, Britta Phillips... total fox.
I had five slices of NY style pizza on 3 separate trips to the same place. Two after I bought the tickets, one before the show, and two after. Mmm... tasty. I define NY style as thin; so thin that you must fold it to eat it. The cheese doesn't stretch into gooey strings when you bite and pull away from the slice like in TV commercials either.
WEDNESDAY, DEC 26, 2001
For a quick read, give Take
the Canoli a whirl. This is a collection of smart essays written with
equally smart wit. Sarah Vowell's writing is vivid, funny, and unpretentious
as she offers her takes on Chicago history, Frank Sinatra, and American
Goth, to name a few. But don't take my word for it, read an excerpt.
* * *
I bought Fast Food Nation today with a BN gift certificate that I've been jealously hording like a fat kid with a jelly donut. After three unsuccessful trips to the store for the paperback, I had the hardcover in-hand, when one of the employees found it for me.
Get this... at first, when I told her that I couldn't find it in paperback, she told me to take the hardcover home and read it; then return it later. She said the store was "pretty laid back as long as it was returned in resellable condition". Now that's pretty cool. Perhaps Corporate might take issue with her "lending" policy. Well, it'll have to be our little secret, then, won't it?
TUESDAY, DEC 25, 2001
Merry Christmas from Choizilla. If you didn't get what you wanted, throw
a wicked hissy fit. Tell the offending party to re-evaluate his or her
position.
MONDAY, DEC 24, 2001
Ah, Christmas Eve... Nothing says "birth of your Savior" like
engaging in some last minute commerce with giddy anticipatory delight.
Tomorrow, I get to open "stuff". Can't wait, gang. Can't wait.
Go see Fellowship of the Rings. It's not nearly as great as the reviews that it's gotten, but then again, Swordfish wasn't as bad as it got panned. In a word... Fellowship is all about "big-ness". The big evil armies, castles, mountain vs. ravine shots, statues, and, of course, the Overlord of Evil- all very, very big. It's a good time.
SUNDAY, DEC 23, 2001
Man I saw on the street:
Him: Excuse me, do you know where Humanity is. I'm looking for Humanity.
Me: *silence* I shake my head and keep walking.
We went out for dim sum again. We saw this man, of Food Network fame, exiting as we entered. I felt pretty confident about my choice of restaurants afterwards.
SATURDAY, DEC 22, 2001
The beginning of the end...
Book: The D'oh of Homer Simpson
FRIDAY, DEC 21, 2001
Microsoft's newest version of Windows, billed as the most secure ever,
contains several serious flaws... more
(via CNN).
*shocked*
I have a 3 quarter rule on OS upgrades. In fact, I skipped Millenium Edition all together; a name that now seems charmingly dated. I'm thinking about extending that to a full year before considering a new version upgrade to Microsoft anything. When it comes to MS, it sure doesn't pay to be an early adopter.
You've already formed your opinion of Microsoft, and I'm not here to change it. I will be clinging to the finest and most stable OS, Windows 2000, until MS no longer supports it. After that it's time to Think Different.
Other stories:
• Microsoft
Plugs Security Holes (via ZDnet)
• Suspect Claims al Quaeda Hacked Microsoft - Expert (via Slashdot). This claim is very amusing (mine).
• If you're running 98, 98se, or ME with Universal Plug n Play (UPnP), get the patch here.
THURSDAY, DEC 20, 2001
I spent from 9am until 6pm in two meetings, or traveling to and from them.
Sucks! But, now I'm on vacation until Jan 2.
WEDNESDAY, DEC 19, 2001
Laura and Arielle came over for dinner tonight. It was a tough dinner
to put together since Arielle eats only vegetarian. Here's what we had:
Appetizer: Fresh spring rolls filled with rice vermicelli, (shrimp), sprouts, lettuce, mint, all dipped in Hoisin peanut sauce.
Entree: Rotini with julienne of zucchini, carrot, shallot, garlic, and shitake mushrooms, all in alfredo.
Dessert: Warm apple crisp with ice cream.
I was rewarded by Laura with a numbered and signed copy of Best American Short Stories of the Century. I'll give you a hint. The editor's name rhymes with Kohn Kupdike. This is my second signed book, but I've never actually read one of his novels; only short stories. This is definitely blasphemy in some circles.
TUESDAY, DEC 18, 2001
Boy, I kinda put myself out there with yesterday's post, didn't I? Well,
my friends, love me or leave me. It's a free internet, and there's plenty
to go around.
I end with this: Yesterday, I ate a half pound of bacon with *air quotes* a side of pancakes for dinner. Yep, you read that right. I'm not really sure how to feel about it. May I offer, umm... "remorseful, lubricated"? Sure beats the pants off of Texas Toast! I'll do it again, too. Just you watch...
MONDAY, DEC 17, 2001
I spent a good part of the evening compiling this list
of movies, and giggling. It's a pretty comprehensive list which I found
to be like a cinematic dairy of my life. Movies, like music, stir very
vivid memories within me- where I was, who I was with, etc. Sometimes
I see several movies a week, but only the good ones are listed. Here are
some highlights.
Jaws (1975)
My parents were always movie fanatics, so it's no wonder that I've followed
suit. This is the first movie I ever saw. I'm not sure why they chose
this one for a three year old, but it certainly was a baptism by
fire. To this day, I have a very unhealthy fear of the ocean; especially
the Atlantic, which tends to be murky in the Northeast. When looking over
the edge of a boat of any size, I always feel like huge one-meter jaws
will spring from the water and liberate my head from my body. Until I
was eight, I couldn't even be in a swimming pool by myself.
A Christmas Story (1984)
This is what I would consider to be my first date. I went to see it with
my best friend and his girlfriend, whom I secretly had a crush on. It
turned out to be fine because I ended up liking the girl that I went with.
You know, like like. Boys are fickle too.
Top Gun (1987)
Though lacking any real meat other than the obvious date formula- equal
parts testosterone and estrogen for maximized marketability- I remember
it fondly as the movie in which I touched my first bare breast. I also
remember the girl very fondly. The rest is none of your damn business,
but then again I've said too much...
Dazed and Confused (1993)
This movie is a pretty accurate description of my middle college years,
defining what it meant to buck the establishment- the so-called Man. The
truth is, I was just really, really stoned. Wouldn't it be nice to spend
your nights wasted talking to your friends and listening to music? Com'on
admit it. It was a lot of fun.
I could write more, but it's late. My concerns now lean toward bucks in my pocket. To read more about bucks, go here. Wow, that was terrible. Even for me.
SATURDAY, DEC 15, 2001
NPR's This American
Life , hosted by likable weenie Ira Glass, had an amusing autobiographical
essay by contributing editor and author Sarah Vowell about her Montana
parents' visit to New York City. You can find it here.
Her book, which I plan to buy, is called Take
the Canoli.
Requirements: Real Player, 14 min 50 sec. When the player starts buffering, drag the cue to 3:20 into the program. Program ends at 18:10.
FRIDAY, DEC 14, 2001
I took the day off today and slept until 10am. It's
pretty cool to be me right now.
Conversation I heard at the rock gym last night:
Boy: Those shoes smell.
Girl 1: That's because I put poop in them.
Girl 2: No, your shoes have poop in them.
Boy: No, yours do... [so on and so forth]
This was significant to me because just moments earlier, the girl with the poop in her shoes climbed this. They were somewhere between 10 - 13 years old. Little punks!
THURSDAY, DEC 13, 2001
I went out for dinner and drinks last night
with a friend that lives a mere five miles from me, but I only see twice
a year. One hour turned into four, and I laughed so hard my checks hurt.
Now, if only I could bottle that feeling... I could make meel-yones. I would rule the world!!!
Eh hem... I was also assessed a $30 parking ticket by the City of Boston, which was fine. Small price.
Psst... May-ah Menino. Over heeya. Howz about taking that money to pay cops to direct traffic around construction hazards; not to talk to public works guys. Think you can swing that, Big Guy?
WEDNESDAY, DEC 12, 2001
Bumper stickers I saw on a car today:
-
I love animals, they're delicious!
-
Gun control means using BOTH hands
-
Decrease the size of government: Reduce spending across the board
-
Affirmative action: Discrimination!!!
-
Work harder: millions of welfare receivers are depending on you
I'm really curious to know what party lines this guy votes along?
You already know how I feel about bumper stickers, right? The rationale for buying them, I'm sure, is that they strike a cord with the purchaser; something humorous or perceived as truth. But, when I'm in my car in grinding Boston traffic, I'm involuntarily a captive audience, so keep your politics to yourself. I promise to reciprocate.
Being stuck in traffic is no different than being in a supermarket checkout line. No one else wants to be there either, pal. So... don't be the woman huffing loudly (huuuhh... huuuuhh...), or the man that's grumbling complaints audibly "under his breath". You're just making it worse. I suppose I can ignore you, but you're right there, in my face, begging to be answered with judgmental sarcasm. Fucking begging me. I must answer.
So back to this guy: Why doesn't he just cut out the middlemen and get ONE bumper sticker that reads "Fucking right-wing nut on board"? It saves on the clutter. That way he can clearly state that his bumper is a metaphor for stupidity, while still being environmentally sound. Efficiency all around.
I just judged a man based on the cracked vinyl stickers of his car. Sweeeeet!
TUESDAY, DEC 11, 2001
Excuse me, your vagina's on fire...
This is one funny
Canadian. *shrug* I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean.
Susannah linked to me about yesterday's entry. The person mentioned in the story is Jessica. Go bust her balls about it. Be nice, though. We Massachusetts (ian-onian-ers... whatever) are protective of our own. Only WE can be pricks to one another.
Okay, I totally made that up. What... you could tell?
MONDAY, DEC 10, 2001
NPR's Fresh
Air had a story about the phenomenon of Weblogs today. So, I offer
the following:
-
I'm getting low on toothpaste. Colgate. I should buy an extra tube next time.
-
My lunch consisted of Vegetarian Delight (extra spicy). It tasted good.
-
I passed 110,000 miles on my car's odometer today.
Listen to the show here. It requires Real Player and five minutes and forty-five seconds of your ordinary time. Broadband helps too.
SUNDAY, DEC 09, 2001
Topic over brunch.
Annoying actors with running scenes:
1. Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider. She was clearly outstaged by her own boobs.
2. Tom Cruise in anything. Who can forget his signature rapidly deflating checks and "O" pursed lips? (see The Firm)
3. Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon. Robocop on top, crazy legs on the bottom. Head pointed at 10 or 2 o'clock, but never 12.
God and his archangels are sitting around discussing where He should go on vacation this year. One of them suggests, "How 'bout Mercury?"
God replies, "Oh no... went there 4000 years ago. It's really hot and all I got was a wicked sunburn."
"How about Venus, then?", another chimes in.
"Uh... went there 3000 years ago. Pretty good skiing, but it's too cold."
"And Earth?"
"Ya know... I went there 2000 years ago and got this Jewish girl pregnant. I haven't heard the end of it ever since.
Ba dum bum... thank you, folks. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.
SATURDAY, DEC 08, 2001
Last night I dreamt that Jen died. I dreamt it last
week too. If I dream it again next week, I'm definitely, definitely going
off the glue.
THURSDAY, DEC 06, 2001
Am I the only one who can't figure out how to implement
one of these personal publishing thingamabobs? I canna do this, fer fook's
sake? This shite is a rrr-rrroyal pain in the arse.*
Who among you is using a good FTP client that you can recommend? Specifically, I looking to change permissions on cgi files. Dreamweaver does not support this natively. E-me, if you've got suggestions. I'm begging you.
*Note: Frustration often causes inexplicable use of Scottish brogue by author. The author is not Scottish.
WEDNESDAY, DEC 05, 2001
Following the software industry's lead on
half versions, I've decided to jump from v. 1.2 to 1.5. In this way, I've
merely repackaged what is essentially the same thing. The biggest hole
in my little analogy is that I won't be able to charge you more, and thus,
I will be reporting to the office today.
TUESDAY, DEC 04, 2001
Time to update your DAT files. The latest dish from
Symantec about the W32.Goner.A@mm.
This is definitely a time of heightened security, but do you trust your government to do this? Maybe George wasn't such a crack pot after all.
MONDAY, DEC 03, 2001
Little
Tenement on the Prairie (short fiction via SFM)
SUNDAY, DEC 02, 2001
Pictures from our September honeymoon in Montreal,
only eleven months after we got married. Three words to describe Jen:
broke fucking grad student. Or how about: bleeding Mike dry. Ooo... *wince*
that one's gonna cost me.
From left to right: Place Jacques Cartier; Le Jardin Botanique, China Garden; Overlooking downtown; Hotel de Ville; Another at the Botanical Gardens; Place des Armes.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2001
Today, I devoured a 9.2 ounce box of Dots
in one sitting while reading Weblogs. That's over half a pound to most
of you, and 261 grams to the rest of the world, where units of measurement
make sense. So why did I eat all that candy? Because it pleased me to
do so. And why should you care? Well, you don't.
Anyhow, I clearly have some work to do about defining the differences between "what pleases me" and what is pure hedonistic gluttony. As I found out an hour later, that can quickly turn into masochistic gluttony. Ah ha, I asked and karma provided the answers.
Enjoy the oodles of intellectual challenge provided by Tootsie on the back of the box. Hey, I know when I'm being patronized.
